When you kill yourself, you kill every memory everyone has of you. Youre saying Im gone and you cant even be sure who it is thats gone, because you never knew me. Sixteen years ago, Joan Wickershams father shot himself in the head. The father she loved would never have killed himself, and yet he had. His death made a mystery of his entire life. Using an index--that most formal and orderly of structures--Wickersham explores this chaotic and incomprehensible reality. Every bit of family history--marriage, parents, business failures--and every encounter with friends, doctors, and other survivors exposes another facet of elusive truth. Dark, funny, sad, and gripping, at once a philosophical and deeply personal exploration, The Suicide Index is, finally, a daughters anguished, loving elegy to her father.